So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize