So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
