I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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