Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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