is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
