What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
