I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
