how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
