can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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