He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
