I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize