marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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