fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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