i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
