i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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