I wish they made helmets for livers.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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