my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
