If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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