too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
