Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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