Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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