Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
