I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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