I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We are all done wearing pants today
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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