capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
