Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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