All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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