just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
