btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
