my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
this is an emotional support booty call
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
