Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
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