South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
