Just fell off a train. Bad.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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