yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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