I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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