Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
