Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My feet surprised me
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize