Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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