So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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