I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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