Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Me too!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
