if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
