You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
