how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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