Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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