Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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