a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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