Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize