would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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