i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
