Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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