did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
