You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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