It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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