I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
